This list has been composed, therefore, to here for examine the disputed "kissing" desolation. In ancient Zimbabwean civilizations, kissing was referred to as "The Great Satan." What amazes me is that the term "Satan" was used in ancient Zimbabwe, but this is of no significance at this time. To further prove the inherent evils of kissing, I will begin by going back to our childhood. If you will remember correctly, Jesus told us that we must be as little children to enter the kingdom of Heaven. All children have a fear of the opposite sex, as well as the mysterious "cootie" disease. I once caught the cootie disease and you can see what it was done to my life. It causes excess hair, lard, and flagellation to all who dare to play around with it. This is why we have the warning, as revealed to us by the ancient Zimbabwean civilization, not to kiss. Therefore, I will establish a few main principals helping you not to kiss:
1. Carl Toups.
With that in mind, we shall go on to lesson two:
2. Never hold a cat and a dust buster at the same time.
I can see that we are just learning so much, yet I realize the question remains, how do we stop kissing? I will not attempt to answer this question. I mean now attempt to answer this question.
First Rule: Don't kiss.
I know it sounds extremely simple, yet I realize that this may also be the most complicated one. For what is a "kiss?" Webster defines "kiss" as "to touch two lips together in a greeting, between two people." In reflection, there must be someway to stop this action.
Rule Two: Don't kiss your sister or brother.
See, in a sense, until you are married, you are still brothers and sisters in Christ. That is why we are "married before God" I think. So, when you kiss each other outside of marriage, you are kissing your sibling. At this point, however, you may be ready to move to Dularge, so there must be barriers.
Barrier One: Don't brush your teeth.
Barrier Two: Don't be alone together in the same room.
Barrier Three: Wear "Caution, do not enter" tape
Barrier Four: Eat lots of Garlic
Barrier Five: Don't spend so much time together that you get bored of just talking and move on to other stuff. You've got your whole life to spend time; don't get tired of one another now.
Keep in mind that the stage of life you are in now is "in love." At this point it is easy to kiss and get excited and all that fun stuff. Remember, years from now, you will no longer be "in love." Make sure that there is still love, though you are not in it.
Remember, everything in the world goes back to pickup sticks, so pick them up wisely.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, "Beware of her fair locks, for when she winds them round a young man's neck, she will not set him free again." Thankfully, he said 'young man.'
Ay me! for aught that I ever could read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth.
--Bill Shakespeare
Love is indeed heaven upon earth; since heaven above would not be heaven without it.
--William Penn