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The other day I was going through some of my old things and discovered two journals I had to write for class in the tenth grade. One was written for my biology class, and one was written for my English class. My biology teacher usually assigned topics, whereas my English teacher just had us write about our days. As I read them, I had some good laughs and was impressed by my young logic in some places.

I decided to clean them up a bit and reprint my favorite entries here. Enjoy!

8-26-97 – What is the scientific method?

The scientific method is a method used for figuring out scientifical things. The scientific method must be observed, must be based upon truth, and it must have to do with science. I remember learning about this last year; but, I don’t remember anything about it, so I’ll make something up. First you take some cream cheese and boil it. After it starts to boiling, put it in a mayonnaise jar and burry it in your back yard. Within a weeks time, daisies should be starting to sprout. If this does not happen, take the cheese out, throw it into an oven, and bake it at 160 degrees. Scrape the cheese out of the baking pan and feed it to your dog. When your dog dies and you burry him, daisies should sprout.

8-27-97 – Describe the Phrase “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.”

The phrase “fearfully and wonderfully made” describes people who are fearful and wonderful. This phrase could describe Christians, such as myself, who fear God and who are wonderfully made in His image. This reminds me of Adam and Eve, who were made in God’s image unlike the other beasts of the field. Adam and Eve had a good life. They lived without sin, roamed around a gigantic garden, and got to eat whatever and whenever they wanted as long as they didn’t touch the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or eat of its fruit. Well, we all know how the story goes of “Eve and the Snake.” This makes for a good title for the story. Another could be “Adam and the Apple.” Man sinned and we no longer have a perfect body or a perfect mind which Adam had. Could you imagine having the knowledge of Adam and being able to name every single creature? Adam had a big impact on biology. Adam named the cow, bat, and pig. From the pig we get bacon, ham, and hot dogs, which have nothing to do with the phrase “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

8-29-97 – How do you use the scientific method daily?

Every day I use the scientific method when I figure things out. When I don’t know how to do something, I think, “Maybe this will help.” For example, when I want to get my cat in my room, I think, “Should I call him or will he come by himself?” I then form my hypothesis: “If I call him, he’s more likely to come.” So then I call him, but he doesn’t come. Then I form another hypothesis: “If I go pick him up and carry him into my room, he’s more likely to come into my room than if I call him.” My experiment probably would have worked, but when I went to pick him up, he bit me.

9-8-97 – Create your own vestigial organ and hypothesize its purpose.

One vestigial organ that I have discovered is the snogwog. It is sort of an oval shape and located in the center of the brain. I hypothesize that this organ determines how smart we will be. Every couple of days, especially during the school year, the snogwog starts to expand because of the overload of information. This expanding causes very severe headaches. Whenever the person learns way too much, the snogwog will explode, blowing up the person’s head. Teachers, I firmly suggest that you teach alot of material for this very entertaining sight.

Biomediation is a good thing. It can help society to stay healthy and clean. It destroys harmful chemicals that can kill us and make us sick. This biomediation is a very fascinating thing. It’s interesting to see the one-cell organisms destroy so much waste. The American government can use this for something more than just cleaning up waste, though. The scientists who study biomediation and mutation could team up and make some mutated for of these cells which could actually eat through human flesh. The Army could then put the mutated cells into bombs. When the country goes to war with another country, we could drop this bomb and wipe out the entire race. Eventually, if no one enters the land in which the mutated cells are, then the cells will run out of food and die. This would be much better than the nuclear bombs which also destroy the land and take thousands of years to get the land back to un-radiated status.

But this method could easily get out of hand. Say I’m wrong about the cell dying, or if the fallout travels as it does with nuclear bombs. If somehow the fallout travels to America, or some other country, the results could be disastrous. The outcome could become far worse than the AIDS virus and could kill every single individual on earth.

The only way to see if this bomb would ever work would be to use the scientific method. We could take all the people on death row and put them on some small uninhabited island in the pacific, and then bomb them. The dilemma is this: if the experiment works, it will be an awesome discovery for mankind in war strategy. If, and this could well possibly happen, the results are negative and what I described earlier happens, the world is doomed. My suggestion is to just forget about this entire idea for the negative far outweighs the positive.

My cousin can open up his skull and you can see his brain. Do you think I’m lying? Well, you know what …

You’re right. I’m lying. But there is a kid in my sister’s class who can move his thumb really funny like. My sister can put her elbows behind her back and touch them. My teacher’s foot bones pop out of place (I bet you can’t guess what teacher this is. Hint: it’s the same one who can make monkey sounds).

We should all thank God for our special bone (or boneless) tricks and somehow use these talents to bring people to Jesus. How to bring people to Jesus through these talents, though? I really don’t know how to, but there must be some way.

We are taking an open book test today because we have too many notes and nobody can remember them. We’re all opening up our notebooks and answering the questions on the test. This way we don’t have to overload our minds and have our snogwog explode.

Open book tests are for the good of mankind and they reduce the temptation to cheat. If we always had open book tests, then less people would cheat, and since cheating is a sin, less people would sin and go to Hell. If we always had open book tests people would make better grades and everyone would say, “Look at Mrs. LeCompte’s biology class. They all make straight A’s. She must be a very good teacher!” And since we would all make A’s, we would have a better GPA and be accepted into a better college. We could further mankind if we always took open book tests. Just think about it.

Nerve jamming is when your nerve jams and you can’t feel anything. You start twitching and you can’t feel anything. Everyone stares at you and says, “Look at the freak!”

He told me to be excited about going to church. Nothing and no one else matter but God. God gives you things and takes them away, just like when Fred gives you a sock, why should that sock be more important than Fred.

The purpose of Red Ribbon Week is to show our support of drug freeness, although some people are lying when they wear these ribbons. People at any school, including this one, can get drugs. I won’t get them, ever. I’ll never do them, but some people do.

I feel really good because we get to get our grades and see what we made. It takes up class time and we get more time to write in these splendid journals. Some people get to see A’s and B’s, while others get to see D’s and F’s. Most people, thouse, are average and just get a C. I don’t like C’s. They say, “Hey I didn’t make an A so I’m not really smart and I didn’t make an F so I’m not really bad at this subject, but I just fall somewhere in the middle were the majority of the people are, and the really smart people can point and laugh at me.”

Today at 3rd hour I found out that the football team still might go to the playoffs. At fourth hour, what I had heard earlier was confirmed. We were going to the playoffs. The problem is we’re playing Northside, the same team that shut us out. This time, the result will be different. (Editor’s Note: No it wasn’t. They pretty much kicked our tail.)

Today we had practice. I found out I would be on starting defense for the game this Friday. I’ll also probably play on starting offense. While we were running some plays, I made a really good catch. Then, the next play we ran, I missed a ball that was right in my chest. (Editor’s Note: Is it any surprise we got our tails whooped?)

Today my grandfather came over and we ate fried chicken. I also found out that my dad’s getting a new job. We got report cards today and I got all A’s except for two B’s. (Editor’s Note: Good thing, because we already discovered you can’t catch a stinking football!)

Today my grandfather and aunt came over. We ate crab chowder and shrimp stew. At practice Michael and I were rushing and we both missed Laban and ran into each other. I also got an interception. (Editor’s Note: Again, we see me destined for success!)

One day a leaf named Bob was hanging to a tree.

“I wonder what’s going to happen today, Dave,” said Bob to the tree.

“Quit talking to me you aggravating little leaf,” yelled the tree named Dave. “Now you shall die!”

Dave then started shaking his branch and the poor little leaf named Bob started his long journey to the earth.

Today was a big day. At P.E. Matt Godsey and Charles got into some type of fight. Somehow I ran a 60 yard touchdown. I got a D on my geometry test! I made a 93 on my Spanish test! It was also my sister’s birthday so we went to McDonalds. Afterwards, we went to the mall and I got a haircut while my sister got two pair of shoes.

My science fair project is, “Would a plant grow better with or without water?” My hypothesis is, “A plant will grow better with water.” For my experiment, I will stick two plants, without dirt, into a dark closet. Everyday I will take a gallon of water and pour it over the plant on the right.

Today my sister and I were playing basketball. I was dribbling and the ball slipped out of my hand and hit her in the face.

11-12-97 – How was chapel? (Editors note: This post describes the first time I met Joshua Higgins – I think).

Chapel was great. First we sang some songs and then some guy came and preached. He started in the book of Matthew in chapter 5. It was the Beatitudes. He said we should have a good attitude. A good attitude is important; if you don’t have a good attitude, you have a bad attitude. A bad attitude is bad. Bad is bad. According to this man, a good attitude can bring you everything, from peace with others to riches and glory.

There is one thing a good attitude can’t bring, though. That is everlasting life. You can have the best attitude, hand out with all the Christian people, listen to only Christian music, not make anyone mad, be really humble, give your tithes every week, support missions, attend church functions, and go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, but if you don’t know Christ it is all in vain. You should get saved then become holy, not become holy and then get saved. By that I mean you shouldn’t think that God won’t accept you because you are a sinner.

The Bible says alot of great things, and they’re all important. But, in my opinion, the most important verse is John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” The reason I think that this is the most important verse is because that before you accept this verse, all other things you do for God are in vain. UNLESS YOU CHOOSE JESUS, NOTHING ELSE YOU DO IS OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE. Only through Jesus can you become holy, not vice-versa.

Sadie is a thing that people go to and they do stuff. I don’t know much about Sadie because I’ve never gone and probably never will. The reason is because nobody likes the fat kid! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The kind of person that studies plants would be a skinny guy that wears glasses. He would be outside, lost in the woods, and would yell alot. He would run around and pick flowers. When no one else would be looking, he would swing from the vines of trees. Every now and then, he would climb a tree and say, “My, that looks like a compound leaf,” or “That’s a mighty big midrib.”

During the winter leaves die. The photosynthesis stops and doesn’t produce green chlorophyll. As the green color disappears, the leaf gets weak and falls off. As the leaves falls off, they fly through the sky. Then, as they are flying through the sky, they fall to the ground. When, after falling to the ground, they hit the ground, they make noise. It’s not a really loud noise, but it is a noise. Now if you drop a brick on someone, that will make a noise!!! But if you just drop a leaf on someone, it doesn’t make much noise.

This morning I was sitting in the den getting my stuff ready when I heard a blood-curling scream from the bathroom. I jumped to my feet.

“What was that?” my mother asked.

“I don’t know,” was my reply.

I ran through the kitchen and dashed through the living room. When I got to the hall, I saw my sister.

“What’s wrong?” I asked triumphantly.

“There, in the bathroom! A huge, giant monster is trying to eat me! It’s in the basket! Look!”

That was my sister talking. The basket she was talking about was a white basket sitting near the sink that we use to keep washcloths in. I wandered to the basket. Inside the basket was a “huge” one-inch long, hairy, brown cockroach. My mother stumbled into the restroom and questioned the situation. I pointed to the basket.

“Looky looky,” I said. “We got a big one here.”

My mother looked at me. Raising her eyebrow, she said, “Get rid of it.”

I moved toward the basket. Slowly at first, then more rapidly. The entire time the roach just sat there staring at me. My intentions were to just carry the basket outside and release the roach. Mr. Roach had other plans. As I grabbed the handle of the basket, the once still roach decided it was time to flee. He jumped out of the basket and hurdled into the sink.

I knew if this roach got away he would tell others of the outside world, and they too would emerge from the safety of the wall. I was desperate. I had the weight of all mankind everywhere lying on my shoulders. If I let this one measly cockroach escape, the world would be taken over by the evil roach beings. I acted upon my first instincts.

I screamed.

My second move was to raise my foot … high. I raised it well above my head. It came down with a crashing “Boom.”

Right there, in my sink, lay a dead cockroach. Yellow guts everywhere. Next to it was my foot. My foot was in the sink. It would have been a humorous sight, but my mission was over. I killed a Communist spy.

Other than that I had a fairly common day. Except for the noodle incident at school, but I’ll save that for another day. Now, I part with a “fair well.”

The End.

This story is based on truth. Some parts were exaggerated. The names were changed to protect the ignorant.

Nothing really happened today. Well I went to my mom’s school where her club made some decorations. Well, I got to go to sleep now. I didn’t do any of my English work yet. Hopefully I can do some of it tomorrow while waiting in the library.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. This morning, while I was in the library, some teacher came and asked me to help her. Since I didn’t have anything else to do (except study for two major tests that I hadn’t even started to study for yet), I decided to help her. I followed her down the stairs and then we went outside. We walked across the campus to the back where there were some portables. She handed me a VCR and told me to bring it back to the library. I walked outside to the group of portables. If you didn’t know your way around this place you would probably get lost.

I looked around. To my right was a gym. To my left was another portable. I only had one thought: I was lost.

I frantically thought about a way out of this situation. I then heard voiced in the gym. What if the people in the gym were VCR stealing communists? I had to find a way out! I saw the back of the main building up ahead. The voices were getting louder.

I panicked.

I started running. I was almost there when the unimaginable happened. I tripped. I came falling down with a crash. If the Big Bang Theory were true then I would have created another universe. The worst part was that I fell right on top of the VCR. It was smashed into thousands of pieces.

Well, not really. You see, I never panicked or ran. I didn’t really trip and fall on the VCR. What really happened was that I found the right door to the building, walked up the stairs, put the VCR down, and started to study for my Bible test. But that was a boring incident and I find life much more exciting when I make it up.

We got progress reports today and I got a C in math and English. My only A’s were in biology and P.E. I had B’s in everything else. (Editor’s Note: You better bring those up if you ever want to get into grad school!!)

There is this little old lady who has an edible stove called “radiant energy.” She sits in her cafeteria, called “chloroplast”, and gives away sugar. She’s an insane old lady and she calls sugar glucose. People wait in line for her sugar and their names are Xyloem and Phloem. The sugar this little old lady gives to Xyloem and Phloem indirectly feeds every other person.

Xyloem and Phloem take the sugar to all their friends. Their friends eat the sugar and then are attacked by gigantic rabbits. The rabbit is then minding his own business one day while eating the friends of Xyloem and Phloem, when he hears gun shots. He falls helplessly to the ground while some humans come and ripe his skin off. They chop his head off and put him in a big pot. They eat this poor rabbit and say, “Hey, this is pretty good.”

Little do they realize that what they are actually eating is some sugar made on an edible stove by a little old lady named Catalyna.

First we’re going to wake up and open presents early in the morning. Then we’ll sit around the tree being thankful that my Aunt Laura isn’t down because she would make us wait until 7am to open presents. Then we go somewhere and open more presents and eat. We go home and play with our new stuff and eat some more. Then we go visit people and eat some stuff. Then we’ll come home and eat some more stuff and get stuffed. Then I’ll go to bed and say my prayers. After that I’ll sit in bed and say, “My, what a wonderful day that was.” Then, in the middle of the night, I’ll throw up (phloem) because I ate too much.

There was once a plant named Bob. Bob was tired of sustaining life. He was a smart plant. He knew that without photosynthesis, not only would there be no food for anything, but there would be no air. Bob decided to start a revolt. First he started to discuss it with the grass. The grass told the trees and the trees told the vines. The vines were able to tell everything since “I heard it through the grapevine.”

The plants stopped making photosynthesis. They stopped making simple sugar and glucose. The carbon-oxygen cycle stopped happening. Bob looked around with satisfaction. Everything was brown. Things were spontaneously dropping down dead. Then, Bob, brown as he was, breathed for the last time. He dropped down dead.

The only thing green in sight was Ben the Beanstalk. He started talking to the plants.

“Why are we doing this?” he exclaimed. “Why are we killing ourselves?”

The plants finally decided to listen to him. Things were returning to normal. Then, after many years of stopping plant revolts, Ben was cut down by Farmer Brown. Old Brown thought Ben tasted good.

Plants everywhere were furious. They revolted and took over the world. The took old Farmer Brown and fed him to the Venus fly traps. Their new leader was Arnold Asparagus. He was unstoppable.

The End.

Today is Free Writing. My, I like Free Writing. Whenever I’m Free Writing, I feel happy. When I’m happy, I think about baseball. Baseball is the sport of champions. Champions in the old days had wooden clubs. Now, baseball players have metal bats. Champions of old threw rocks at each other. Now, Champions throw baseballs at speeds up to 90 miles per hour. Look at the catcher and look at a knight, both dressed in armory. Army vs. Army, Team vs. Team. My, this sport makes my blood chill.

I made a 100 on my English exam! It’s really neat! I’m also taking Driver’s Ed. It’s really Wednesday and I forgot to writ yesterday. (Editor’s Note: That’s more like it, brainiac! And thus started the long journey into your love of the English language. You can blame it all on this day – January 6, 1998.)

Today I went to Driver’s Ed. I passed! I don’t know when I’ll get my permit, though. (Editor’s Note: You go, boy.)

Today was a great day. Instead of chapel we had clubs meet today. I decided to go to Key Club. We decided to elect officers today, so I decided I might as well run for something. I ran for vice-president and won! Randy ran for president and won. Amanda is secretary and Leslie is treasurer. Shannon has an un-official office as chaplain. Mrs. Sanderson said that Randy, Leslie, Amanda, and I had to go to some type of officers meeting in Baton Rouge.

I also got a call from my basketball coach. My first practice is at Oakshire gym from 7:00pm – 9:00pm. I hope I’m on a good team, but I also hope that we are a “team” and not just give to someone that’s good to make the shots.

(Editor’s Note: Good job, Josh! I still remember that day! Things seem to be looking up for you. I’d say these three days were a turning point in your life. Unfortunately, this one was the last entry in your journal for the school year.)

1-28-98 – How was chapel? (Editor’s note: Possibly my second experience with Josh Higgins??)

It was great. I tried my best to pay attention, but I must be tired because I kept falling asleep. During the ending prayer I closed my eyes and saw a bunch of people eating cake. I was the one cutting and serving it. It looked real good. It had white and green icing. Then I realized where I was and pulled myself out of slumber!

Yes! Man has hair. Hair is a characteristic of mammals. Mammals have hair. Whales have hair. Dogs have hair. My cousin has hair. Joe has hair. My uncle doesn’t have hair. Does that mean he’s not a mammal? No! It means’ he’s BALD!!! My uncle wasn’t always bald. He used to have hair. I’m probably going to be bald. The bald gene comes from the mother’s side of the family. Both of my mother’s brothers are bald, and so is her dad. I’m doomed, destined to be bald! I shall be called Chrome Dome, Melon Head, Shiny Top, and thousands of other cruel names.

I can write anything I wish today, so I’ll write something. I don’t know what to write about. I’m just writing. Write, write, write. Write, write, write, write, write. Write some more. I’m still writing. Words are coming. More words. Three more words. Another four words. Still another five words.

Osmosis is the name of something. It does something and is probably something that has something to do with a cell. We are studying cells in biology. This is my Biology journal. Biology should not be capitalized. Osmosis probably does something. I don’t know what it does. Maybe it keeps the cells shape. I forgot to do my homework last night.

Wow! Has it really been so long since I’ve written in this thing? Maybe I should keep it up and write at least once a week.

It just turned the 19th of August. It’s my birthday! I’m 17! Can I really be that old? I’ve been working at Winn-Dixie the past three months. It’s pretty cool, but I wish I could get more hours. That last entry seems to be the beginning of my “good life.” That team I was on ended up being a great team. Made it to the parish semi-finals and lost by two-points! We won third place in the tournament. I ended up being president of Key Club and I love it. Just the other day I was elected Student Council Secretary. We have been going to school to help teachers set up and decorate. I was also on the baseball team and won the coaches award! I’m also in choir. I’ll try to write later and tell how life is and not just my accomplishments.

Obviously I never got around to that goal!

Check out www.JoshManning.com for more information on my life!

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