Editor's Note: This story was written by Josh while he was still living in the NSU dorms.
Dearest Cyber Kinfolk,
My entire room must have been replaced with plastic. Work has been piled upon. Someone asked me last week, "Are you busy?" I replied, "Does a camel step in sand?"
Anyway, I'm just using you guys right now. I have to write a paper for my English 102 class, but my mind just isn't working properly right now. I figure if I just start writing, then maybe I can get the brain juices flowing. I would then redirect the juices at the paper, exemplifying my mind-numbing intellengence. Something like that. I'm humble too.
Went to my bowling class this morning. Did pretty dang well. I got more than 4 pins down so that's always a plus.
I just found out some disturbing news. My good friend Marcus came into my room and asked me to run him over to Winn Dixie. I agreed, and we departed on a journey that neither of us would ever forget. I honestly thought nothing of the bright glowing light following my car on the way over. I figured the muffler just may have been acting up again. However, to my dismay, it was Stan and Howie. I hadn't seen them since I left for PA. They had finally tracked me back down. It was as I stepped out of my car at Winn Dixie that I realized what was going on. I saw the high engery beam coming at me yet once again. I have finally gotten to the point in my life were I am tired of rolling over and "playing dead," so this time I jump out the way. After I jumped, I realized Marcus was standing right behind me. I watched Marcus as he floated up into oblivion, because I knew of the utter agony he was about to endure. As soon as he was gone, I heard this scream from the back side of Winn Dixie. I then saw Marcus, dripping with green slime, come running around the corner of the SuperMarket. Marcus sat down on the curb and began crying. I ran over,
"What happened Marcus?!?!?!"
"I just saw the most terrible thing in my entire life!" he replied.
"What?"
"They've got a cloning machine...."
"Oh?"
"And they were using it on President Bush."
"Really? Anything else happen?"
"They shaved Fuzzy Wuzzy. He's not fuzzy anymore."
"Maaaaaaan."
"Then they dropped me in this green slime."
"That's not slime!"
"It's not?!?!"
"No, it's apple flavored goo!!!!"
Marcus licked his arm, "LIER!!!!"
I laughed.
We went inside and Marcus did what he needed to do. We then journeyed back home. When I got back in my dorm room, I realized my roomate Antione was missing. I looked back out in the hall. He wasn't there. I looked under the bed. No sign. I then opened the closet. Antione yelled at me, "WE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE COLD CUPS!!" I closed the closet and just let him be. I can hear him in there now - breathing. He just sorta sits in there all day. I'm begining to wonder about him.
But anyway people, I must depart. For school is a trecherous, long battle filled with many ups and many downs. The hills will sometimes over take you, but at times you will also take the hill. And when that happens, it is then that you can puff out your chest in pride, plant your purple flag and yell at the top of your lungs, "I AM KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!"
Sincerly yours,
Josh