Sent: Friday, May 28, 1999 8:44 PM
Subject: Weed Eating
Hey guys,
What's up? Just wanted to warn everyone before they try, never - and I mean never - weed eat while wearing shorts. It can be a very painful experience. But don't worry about me; the bleeding has almost stopped now and I'm feeling better.
A DAY IN JOSH'S LIFE, PART 1
Since I'm bored, and I'm sure you all are also, I will tell you what has happened today.
It was 8:30 in the morning. "It should be illegal to wake up this early during my summer vacation," I though. "Well, I'll get up anyway."
I got out of my bed and crawled to the living room. Carrie had already left to go babysitting. "I'll see what's on TV." I turned on the TV and put it on channel 35, the USA Network. Something So Right was on. It's a crazy show but the only thing on at this time. While it was on, I made myself breakfast. I don't really go for cereal or pop-tarts as much as I used to so I fixed myself a sandwich. It was good, real good. I ate the sandwich and watched the TV show. After the show was over and I was done eating, I took a shower. The water felt good, real good. I got out of the shower then went to check my email. I hadn't received any from my friends, just some from The Sporting News. It was a newsletter talking about the defeat of the Jazz in the NBA playoffs and another one about why the Lakers should higher Phil Jackson as a coach. There were two others but they were of no interest to me so I deleted them. After I read my mail, I proceeded to send some out. I e-mailed my friend who likes the Jazz and told her somewhat of what the newsletter I had just read said. I then got off then went to my room and read my Bible. After that, I went back to the living room and played Nintendo. I played All-star Baseball '98 and, of course, I beat the computer buy eleven points. After that, I went online again. This time, I tried out my new AOL Instant Messenger on which my screen name is bigjuice45. I went to the place where it said "Find New Buddy" then I went under interests and looked up some people that had the same interests as me. The first person I found cursed me out. The next one ignored me. The third responded and we had a good, real good, conversation until my online connection somehow got cut off. Buy this time, it was 2:00. I went and got a snack. First I had some Hershey Nuggets, then a Little Debbie snack cake, then a few chips. They were good, real good. I started to watch a talent show on TV and then remembered the garbage needed to go out. I took it out. My sister Carrie then came home. She had been babysitting and made $15. I went and talk to her while she ate some kind of pie my mom had made. It looked good, real good. Then my dad came home and wanted me to do something that I dread, yard work. First, I had to clear out trash and sticks that had either fallen or blown into our yard. Then, I picked up my two basketballs out of the yard and two softballs. My dad then had me vacuum out the shed. That took me pretty close to an hour. Then, I came inside expecting to get online again only to hear my father's voice calling me back outside. As I walked out, I saw my dad with the weed eater. I knew what was going to happen so I reacted upon my first thought. "I'll cut the grass for you Dad," I said pointing toward the riding lawn mower. "That's OK, I'll do it. You can weed eat."
We don't have a small yard. We have close to thirty acres of land. Most of it is swamp though. I jumped into one ditch about three feet deep and started to weed eat. I finished and jumped out. Walked across the yard and jumped into the next ditch. I got out and went next to the house and did some more. My dad called me back to the ditch because he wasn't satisfied with the job I had done. I went back to ditch and did what he wanted then back to the house. I got to one corner and saw a flower, weed eated it and didn't think anything of it until I kept going over two or three more flowers then realized my mom must have planted some. I went to a smaller drainage ditch my dad had dug which was next to an old flower bed filled with rocks and shells. As I weed eated this, I realized I should have worn pants instead of shorts. I then went to the one side of the yard where we have pampas grass and started weed eating between them. I finished and started toward the shed when my dad drove by on the lawn mower and said, "Get around the little shed and then the back shed and you'll be finished." I went to the small shed and started at it. I then went to the back shed which should be called the massive shed and my mom just calls it "the barn." I finally finished. It must have been at least two hours. I was walking back inside and almost made it until I hear the sound I dread the most - my dad whistling. It is my dad's signal for "get over here." I walk back toward the back shed and saw him ride around the corner on the lawn mower. "You said you wanted to cut, right? There's only got five more acres you better get started."
And that is the end. I guess I seemed to have bored you but thanks for listening.
Josh
Responses:
Sarah from Chicago: Woah! I guess the terminology is different!! When I saw "weed eating", I thought you meant EATING (y'know chewing?) weeds!!! Here (in Chicago), we call it weed-whacking. LOL!!! Talk to you later!!